Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Joy of the Grind



Difficult times are difficult to bear. But as I look back at the most joyful moments in my life mostly they have been preceded by these very tough times that I dread. Each time I have lived through a phase which has made me push my limits, I later realise that it has helped me in many other areas.
I may have pushed myself on the basketball court to run that extra bit and I see myself use the same reserve to rise after the client may have rejected an idea.
Suddenly I feel this joy as I welcome the pain that comes my way as I know the joy that awaits will make it all worth it. Someone rightly said the beginning is easy it’s the middle that’s tough. And the middle is the longer bit.
I also wonder, how would be if it was all so easy. Won’t my happiness quotient also take a hit? Won’t I be deprived of that extra kick that I experience in that moment and in the days to come when I have reached there the hard way?
As each year turns by I realise all that is truly worth it never comes easy. The grind always does pave the way for the glory. So knowing this fully, can I be totally at peace and joyful as I’m going through the grind again?
Wouldn’t that be awesome!
But reason tells me that’s the only smart way to go about it. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Lets talk again

I sit back and think of the different phases I have walked through.
I sometimes wonder if they were truly needed.
Then I remember the faces ...the laughter ...the experiences.
I pause. I know deep within. They were needed.

Even as I wonder and I write these words with a poetic flair.
And I wonder whether I need to share these thoughts within.
I am not confident. But I know deep within. It's needed.

As I feel the time has come when work has become our alpha and our omega. And speaking to each other are becoming faint memories.
And truly I most of all am guilty of the above stated crime. 
But I realize even the one at fault can point at the fault and it may cease to remain a fault. Thus I get the courage. And I know deep within. It's needed.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Cathy's list of nice things

                                                                                                                                                       .......................................Image source : flickr.com                                                     
 Hi …I want to tell you about all the nice things I have….As I smile everyone smiles too. It’soo nice. Mommy is making apple pie for me. Mommy is also nice. Tomorrow is my sixth birthday. And I can’t wait for the huge cake with Cathy’s birthday cake written on it. Yeay!!
  I was having these questions today. I do get them a lot each day…I was wondering why don’t Mom and Dad also come to school. There are soo many wonderful things that happen there, and Miss. Rachel is so nice. . I sometimes feel sad that they are missing out on all that and I’m the only one enjoying it all . But I do call them each time as I leave..but they don’t understand. I’m sure someday they too will. I just hope it’s soon.

Otherwise they are very nice. Mommy and Daddy always give me a lot of kisses. And I also give.
One thing I love about my daddy is he has such a nice tummy. I like it even more than teddy…Eh..Sometimes. Teddy is softer but Daddy is soo big ..and the other thing is that daddy hugs me back. Ya now I’m sure Daddy is little better than teddy.(Sorry teddy..I love you too).
I love Mommy too. She always has these new new things ...clips and bands. And sometimes she also gets pretty frocks for me. Whenever we go out ..she always puts a nice hair band on me. But she doesn’t have one. I know it must cost very much. So now that I have three, I am thinking of giving one to her.
         Then grandma also I love. The best thing about grandma is she smells really nice. And when she kisses me on my cheek, it feels like she’s breathing in, which is again really nice. And there is also this butterfly kiss that she gives with the eye lashes, it’s soo nice.
I know today I am saying nice a lot. But I’m sorry I have to when I’m telling you about all the nice things in my life…
But there is one thing I also wish mommy and grandma also had. Daddy has such a bushy bread I love to rub my face. It is so ticklish..hehe…And I miss that when daddy is not home(even more than the tummy).
I have told you about the nicest things I have…  I am sure you must also be having lots of nice things also…
Mommy says ..it is God who gave it to you and me. Woow! He is soo nice…
I wanted to tell you a secret .…I can’t see him.
Can you please give him a butterfly kiss if you do?

Friday, April 1, 2011

A man of principles

The sun rays gleamed through the window. Another beautiful day. Muku, that is what he preferred to be called instead of the long Mukeeesh bestowed upon him.
He lets his positive vibes fill the air
“Whyyyy!!Why the hell is the Weekend over”. Deep breadth. “Ahem Ahem.. it’s out”. Jumps off the bed. Turns on the music on full blast.

He had done all the right things. Topped in class 3rd.Engineering.MBA. The same would be known to every other Ramu, Bablu or Pappu who had been fortunate to have shared ten seconds of his life with Muku ji. “I don’t like to boast..but sharing helps in strengthening relations, nahi?.That’s why I’m telling you.” Muku was a man of solid  convictions.
     So now a big decision had to be taken. He stood there in deep reflection. The tension on his face suggested something mammoth was coming up. Then it was spoken in grave seriousness..”Which shirt should I wear?” Reasoning it out loud was the strength which had always held him in good stead. So he began. “I have two clean shirts. Monday and Tuesday are sorted. But what about the rest of the three more horrid weekdays? Hmmm... I shall save for the future.”Muku knew planning ahead was one of his key strengths.
 ” On Friday my boss and the beautiful lady hadn’t come. So I can repeat my Friday outfit. And my impression management mission won’t be hindered.” His goals were crystal clear.

 ” I’m a freaking geeenius! ”

 Dressed up and empowered by the good decisions he had made, he began to leave for the place which paid his bills.
Suddenly he remembered he hadn’t checked his plan for the day. Muku’s life was planned at least 2 weeks in advance.
“Being organized is in my blood. I don’t have to make an effort. It’s a way of life” as he used to say.
So he began his search for his schedule dairy and after 30 minutes of examining all the possible piles. He opened it and read the schedule for the day, “2 October 2010 ….Holiday- plan later”.
“Oops an odd unplanned day. Shuks!” he  muttered. So he slowly took of his tie. Sat down to start the planning phase. Since having his jaws moving somehow helped him to get the brain juices flowing, stretched his hand and put the half chewed gum from the fridge into his awaiting mouth.
So almost automatically the awesomeness began to flow…”10 am- Sleep…10.05-dream…12 pm-eat…12.30-plan ahead”.
         There was a knock on the door.”Who could that be” he wondered and the time was 9.50 am. Since the schedule of sleeping was set from 10 am he had limited time to give to the visitor. He was confident he had  the soft skills which he had perfected over years to handle this tricky situation he was in. “The sleeping must begin from 10, I am a man of my words.., at least to Myself..” he stated as he moved towards the door.
        Then as he slowly opened the door he found it was his childhood friend Bablu. He had come after a few years. As he welcomed him with a hug and asked him to sit, a voice spoke from within ” Scheduuule…A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. And I cannot let emotion get in the way to my road to greatness. Sticking to one’s schedule was definitely on that same path”.
By now Bablu was seated and was telling about some person he was going to marry. Muku had just about five minutes to get Bablu’s tashreef(Butt) out of his door and get to the awaiting bed.
     Muku knew it was time to use his gifted verbal expertise so he began,…
”So Bablu you must be thirsty.”

 ”Ya mukesh some water would be fine.”

“Water just water. No Bablu bhai, no. There is this ‘mast bhanta’(awesome lemon ade) that is available is the store downstairs, on this auspicious occasion, let me treat you with one.”
 He didn’t know how he would be back by ten but one thing he was sure of, one step at a time. Step one: Tashreef out.
  Over years of advice given by Harsha Bhogle he had learnt “When there is a massive score in front of you. Break it into small targets. Session by session.”
   So as he gave the order for the drink. The time was 9.58.Two minutes to go.”Come on Muku” he emboldened himelf. He knew he would have to make a sprint. So before that, he had to do some warm up without making it obvious to the world around.
  So with artistry and panache he did his warm up for the next 45 seconds. Tying his laces. Scratching his back. Trying to reach the biscuit on the top shelf. The time had arrived.
Greatness was calling out.
So he tapped Bablu on the shoulder…”Bablu bhai, nature’s calling have to scoot…congratulations!!”
The sprint. No looking back. Forgeting the dumbfounded expression on Bablu. He raced up the stairs.
Shut the door. A puff of dust. Sweat dripping down his forehead. Time: 10 seconds to go.
Shoes off. A dive into the bed. Phew!! Last words from the man before hitting the schedule, “Mission Accomplished.”
 Success is never far when the goals are clear and you have the passion to follow.Never.
   Danny Kaye's words seem just right sometimes" I wasn't born a fool. It took work to get this way." 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Free to be..

“There is a part of us which wants to break free of the shackles that bind us. What is that stops us? That makes us step back . Pause. Postpone….forget…regret.  We can be all that that we want to be.”
      These words which Jeremy’s English teacher had said last week were still ringing clearly in his head. “I can be aaall that I want to be..” he wondered with his face radiating hope.
      Jeremy had just turned 13 this winter. He looked outside into the foggy street. There is so much that he had seen on these very streets. People rushing to work, children waiting for their school buses and the vendors from ice cream to popcorn to veggies to mangoes….”
“What do I want to be?”he wondered. Jeremy didn’t have to go to school, the school came home.”I am so lucky” he thought.”I can get up an hour later than all my buddies” he thought.
     But he would have loved to go play in the evenings. Teachers would come teach and go. He would thoroughly enjoy his bowl of yogurt after his lunch. Take his nap. And the sounds of the football game would be his alarm. A tear would trickle down his face. He made sure the tear would be just his. His alone.
       He wasn’t sad cause he couldn’t walk .His wheelchair was faster transportation he had reasoned. All that ached him was that he couldn’t play the game he loved so much.
   Fall on the grass. Shoot the ball . Hit a goal. Relish it…. Play for a team. Run across the field .Imitate Henry and maybe even“hush” a hostile crowd .
  Just as he would start getting deep into the thought, the encourager in him would  emerge and somehow bring him through before the feeling could engulf him.
    Today even as he looked at his skinny legs which maybe lacked the strength to carry him, he knew there was strength within which was enough. He believed, there is nothing that could stop him from being all that He was meant to be.
   So each day Jeremy would take his dark green notepad and let all that would be stored up in his tiny heart to be etched by the blue fountain pen he loved so dearly.
    Today as he took his dream book, it began to drizzle. He stretched his right hand out of the window to feel the first drops of the heavenly shower. He slowly moved towards the door. Unlatched it. Slowly opened it and carefully maneuvered his wheelchair. He was out. He took the slope beside the stairs and silently thanked uncle Tim who had sponsored it.
    The ground was across the street. He looked to the left. The rain Gods had  now become more generous. He turned to the right. With one hand as a shield to his eyes and other at the wheels, he pushed forward. He felt as though someone called him from his window. He didn’t hear that he told himself. He had reached the other side but a pavement was between him and the slugfest going on in the ground. ”I guess I should just go back”  said Jeremy.
   He tried to turn his wheelchair, …but he couldn’t. Someone was holding it. He looked up, and saw a familiar pair of spectacles …”Unca’ Timmy!!” he shrieked as he almost jumped off his chair. He helped Jeremy onto the pavement. Then even as Uncle Tim was pushing the chair, Jeremy let his own hands do the work. He raced ahead onto to the inclined  strip which led him onto the grass.
                           He paused. Looked skywards. Saw the huge droplets come down. Shut his eyelids tight. His outstretched arms let his whole being be one with it all .
 Slowly opened his eyes. Looked at the kids playin’ fifty meters up front. He began to debate about what all his feet were capable of. Just when he was about to begin the duel. The ball came rolling and stopped two feet to his right.
One thing he knew for sure , no point juggling around in theory when a practical  evaluation was possible. So without a second thought moved ahead. Still raining .The buzz around him similar to that of a t.v with no channels to show. He held the arms of the chair tight. Took his right feet back ,to the right at an angle outside the realms of his chair which had bound him,…then brought it back to the base of the ball..”Thump!” . It didn’t reach them. But he could kick. Yes he could!!
       Then he pressed ahead. Suddenly looked behind to see his uncle standing.
Uncle Tim placed both his hands on either side of his mouth, and was about to say something. Jeremy could envision the words come out “Enough, lets go Jeremy !”.
 And three words echoed loud and clear…. “ Go Jeremy Go!!”
        The next one hour flew by. He scored two of the six goals his team scored. For once his white t-shirt didn’t get dirty because of the jam he dropped on it. Some of Jeremy’s dreams came to pass that rainy evening. He hushed the rain.. was carried round the park …Laughed…Screamed …Danced….Lived.
                                    That day when he laid down, he knew that many times in life,..he may not have an uncle to help him cross over the pavement. But one thing was sure…., he had found a strength that day...a strength which will make him think twice before turning back.

                                       And as he slowly let his eyes shut, murmured silently “I can be aaall that I want to be”.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Sammy’s little walk

The dusty road lay in front of little Sammy when he left his home another lazy Saturday morning. It had been one week since his holidays had started. His holiday homework still didn’t worry him too much. The last week should be good enough for that, he thought.
              His mom had asked him to get some milk, he didn’t mind doing any chore where he got the opportunity to go to the shop around the corner. As sweets would be his unspoken reward. As Sammy saw the sun beating down as though with vengeance, he thought “I should do something exciting today”.
Something just clicked. A river of excitement overtook him. There was a glint in his eyes. He wanted to quickly be done with the task at hand and go in pursuit of this new mission he had for the day.
He began to run. He rushed to the store. Panting, he asked uncle Joe ”give me two packets of milk”. Uncle Joe replied “What about your sweet marbles”. Sammy realized he almost forgot about them, rarely does that happen he thought. Paid the cash, quickly gobbled up the marbles, put the milk packets into the bag, and began to hurry back. He saw his buddy Jack around the bend in his cycle..Sammy shrieked..”Jackieee!”.Jack stopped his bike with a sudden jolt.
Sammy ran , sat on the carrier at the back ,”drop me to my place, fast!”, he commanded. Rarely had Jack seen him in a hurry like this, so curious he asked “What’s the rush about?”.Sammy seemed to be in a world of his own and responded with ”Will tell ya, but later.”
   Noticing the purpose in sammy’s voice he dared not to poke further into the matter.
Then as his home neared, he jumped before Jack had applied the brakes, he almost fell. Sammy could hear Jack chuckle, but he didn’t care, greater things were there in his tiny heart; he shouted “Thanks pal” as he rushed up the stairs.
Nobody seemed to be home, he placed the milk packets into the fridge, ‘it’s done’ he thought. “The adventure begins” he said with great resolve.
There was a river that flowed through the woods which would usually take one and a half hour to reach if he went past his backyard. “Sammy don’t go there. Ok?” Grandma used to say. The thrill, the fear, the anxiety it sure churned up a funny feeling in his belly.
   As he was planning his thrill trip he thought, ”It’s better if I feed my tummy before I leave, lest it became a reason to turn back.”
So he grabbed a quick bite before he left. Different thoughts passed through his mind as he was making his way through the backyard. Jumping over the fence. Into the wild.
  Loved the sound that the dried maple leaves under his feet made. It reminded him of the time he munched on his favorite tomato flavored pack of wafers.”Don’t have too much of that, or else you’ll have a heart attack.”Mommy warned each time. It had been a while since he had began .”I will be home before it gets dark”, he said, as if making a solemn pact with himself.
  Suddenly he could hear a strange hissing sound. He freezed in his step. His eyes resembled a fast paced ping-pong match.
Took a long deep breath and….Slowly smiling realized it’s the sound of the river gushing.
The fear transformed into glee. Sammy started to jog, dodging the huge mammoth sized trees that came in his way.
He could see the water every now and then now.”Wow this is sooo much fun!” he exclaimed. Finally he was at the bank of the biggest mass of flowing water he had ever seen. This seemed so different . The cold wind ,…the strange sounds ,..the mighty river…..the orange sky..
     He sat down, to soak it all in. He at that moment wanted a bag which could capture this feeling, all that was around him. To be re-lived when he wished. Then across the river he saw a huge dark figure hidden between the trees. Sammy felt a chill up his spine starring at it and then at the water body that separated them, suddenly felt secure as though the river was his defender. The figure seemed to be still there, as though watching Sammy.                          
      Then he saw the sun had began moving to it’s abode, he thought he must also. ”Hmm…but I wanna see what ..or who is this, then will my adventure be complete” ,he argued as though his daddy were here.
   Suddenly it moved, began to come into the light. It was a Bear!!And there were two more little ones who came out. They sipped on the water.”Boy this is one summer adventure, Jack would find difficult to beat” he thought smiling. With this thought he turned around into the woods, which looked way different than when he came. “There are at least two hours for it to be dark ,and the journey should not take more than an hour and forty five minutes ,now that I’m a little tired“ he assured himself. He began to sing. As he reached the part where he could remember no more, he shifted to the next one.
         He could feel someone asking him ”What if you get lost?”. He kept singing and following the path he believed he had come by. It had been a while walking. He felt horribly thirsty. He had been feeling thirsty from quite a while he realized but the events had kept his mind from giving it attention.
“Just a little more”, he encouraged. Began a new song thinking about what would be the dessert tonight. Many games he had played ,now he was learning a new one ,with his mind.
He suddenly felt as if he had grown before his eyes in this little journey. He saw a familiar green window. He felt a peace within, knew the games could end.
Took a leaf from the ground as a souvenir before he jumped over the fence. Entered his home, went to the kitchen, his mom was cooking, gave her a hug around her waist.”Have you washed your hands and feet?” asked mommy.”I will mommy” Sammy replied.
“How was your day Sammy?”

 A million thoughts passed by, trees, river, joy , bear , fear, and the songs which brought him back.

 He paused and finally said “It was nice mommy. It was nice….” 


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Mommy cares


he may run , slip , fall or rise...
be blinded by the glare,
mommy cares still..
life took him on a ride so fast,
the past a blur ,
wish'in to buy some more time

mommy cares still..

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Your grace I need


Oh Lord come to my aid,
I call you now with a heart heavy laden;

I know the debts of my sin have been paid,
May you touch to let my soul be gladden;

Each day I rise and fall
Forgive me oh Father divine

Thank you Lord for standing tall
And for telling me “ your truly mine”

A privilege it is to have Father like you,
What more could a son want;

For a sinless man paid my due,
Nothing but Life did he grant;

Thy wisdom oh Holy spirit I need,
At every step I take each day;

And may you be my only lead,
Teaching me to love and pray;

In pursuit..

The daily adventure giving a high
Dream chasing from morning till nigh’

Living, flying, jumping and sighing
Kissing the moon , and safe walk dying

Sleeping only to see dreams anew
Loving the bark, mew and the morning dew

Run, Laugh, Dance, Play
Relentless, Spirited, Fun, All-day

My Father’s Love



I cannot fathom your love O Lord
For you hand crafted the world for me

Your love is above me , your love is around me
Fall I may but you shall catch me.

Sorrow and grief come my way
I pause to question I begin to ponder

O Father it’s you who give and take away
Why shall I fear why shall I wonder

Many good works I’ve stopped to gaze
Always generous in showering praise

How can I be so blind to see
The masterpiece was the world and me…

Blessed am I


Thank you Abba,
For the this life,
The friends
Mom
Dad
Family
My ambitions and desires
My failures
My fears
Thank you Abba

Great are your plans oh lord

Beyond my comprehension are they.
Help me seek thou kingdom daddy,
Now and forever more..
I place my future into your mighty care…
Give thou grace that I may take my eyes off me and onto you …

Give more….without the desire to receive..
Purity of thought I seek ,
You look at my heart my redeemer,
May my soul delight in yours …
n' love you forever more.



A heart I couldn’t ignore



The wind blew , refreshed my soul
And filled me deep with a peace unseen;
 A tired fisherman I saw afar,
His heart spoke, and I wished to turn away ;
 The Man’s heart I couldn’t ignore

The shadows grew longer and the heavenly light bid adieu,
But the Man waited ,his hands firm and steady;
A tiny drizzle paid visit,
I refused to go ,I refused to budge ;
 The Man’s heart I couldn’t ignore
The sweet droplets soon grew bigger, faster
Their charm seemed a distant past, and uproar was all around me;
I struggled to see him, flashes in the night sky were my only aid,
I was soaked from head to toe;
 The Man’s heart I couldn’t ignore

 It was awhile now since I saw his boat,
I heard my heart wish a silent prayer;
My pulse rate the wind began to envy
I didn’t want to take back pain, I wished to walk away;
The Man’s heart I couldn’t ignore

I finally saw a dark figure approaching
It was the man and two fish he held with joy;
What was it worth  I dared to ask,
“His Daughter’s smile” said he,
I learnt a lesson in love and thanked the Maker for
The Man’s heart I couldn’t ignore…